The Debauchery Tea Party
by Myst Eternally
Summary: Their bonds were stronger than any guild. Their teamwork was better than any party. Their passion was purer than any Adventurer. Even finding themselves truly living in an MMORPG, that will never change. Best friends, true comrades, held together by a love brighter than the sun. Let us witness, together with the whole world, as these legends revel in their debauched tea party.


**_Chapter One: The Apocalypse_**

"...Whoa. Where am I?"

Shiroe shook his head, right hand reflexively clenching. The firmness of wood made him open his eyes, and he looked towards his right. He raised an eyebrow, seeing a staff.

"This staff..." He recognized it.

He narrowed his eyes, two fingers automatically pushing up his glasses. Coincidentally, the sunlight glinted off the lenses. He looked over the rest of his body, recognizing the robes and trinkets adorning his tall frame. No, taller frame. Yes, he remembered that he made himself taller in the game.

The game... It seemed impossible, but he can smell, feel, and see the truth. He looked behind him and saw a tall building, dilapidated and overgrown with vines, moss, and giant trees.

He knew the layout of the city very well. He knew that building housed his favorite electronics shop. He just went there two days ago.

"Elder Tales...? I'm in the game." He muttered.

He felt his spine tingle and his back turned cold.

"This is either really worrying, or really amazing..."

He tried to step forward but tripped. He fell on his face.

...That was embarrassing.

* * *

Shiroe heard a xylophone-like sound in his head. He stopped in place and blinked. Recognizing a call for voice chat, he wondered how to answer it. He tried willing it, then saying out loud, "Answer chat request."

Nothing worked. He tapped the side of his forehead, trying to think on how to answer it.

"Yaho~! Shiroe-bou, are you there?!" A familiar, cheerful voice screamed in his head.

He yelped and fell on his butt in surprise.

"Ka-Kanami-san?"

"Moooouuuu, I thought I told you to call me Kanami-yan! KA~ NA~ MI~ YAN~ 3!" Kanami teased. Shiroe sighed in both exasperation and relief. A familiar voice.

"Kanami-san, it is good to hear from you. How did you-?"

"Ehhhhh, come on Shiroe-bou, don't be such a stick in the mud~ Once more, KA~ NA~ -"

"Yes yes, excuse me Kanami, please don't derail the point of this call," A child's voice, high-pitched in tone but able to clearly show his exasperation. Shiroe instantly recognized the boy.

"Taigamaru?! Oh man, am I so glad to hear you're here too."

"Shiroe-bou! Why don't you ever call me impolitely like with Tai-chan~?!"

"Okay, the adults are talking. Go chase butterflies, Kanami," Shiroe could imagine Taigamaru pushing Kanami away. Shiroe smiled, then he finally noticed a window on the corner of his eye. He saw the familiar interface of the game and used his finger to pull it to the center of his vision. Taigamaru was the one to initiate the call, but Shiroe heard Kanami's voice too. So voice chat acts like a phone in itself.

"So we can confirm that voice chat acts like a phone," Repeated by Taigamaru. His childish voice belied intelligence well beyond his age, or any age really. Shiroe sometimes had a hard time believing the Tea Party's strongest player was a child nearly a decade and a half under his age.

"We have to tap the side of our forehead, either side, with our index and middle fingers, and we can contact anyone we want by simply holding our index and middle fingers to the side of our forehead and thinking of their name. Now, I will try thinking my message to you," Taigamaru calmly explained.

Shiroe blinked once and suddenly a rather large window full of text popped out to the corner of his vision. He pulled it to the center and read through it quickly. It contained instructions on how to open his menus and screens. Shiroe quickly pulled them out and searched for the Log Out button. He pressed it and sighed frustrated at the beeping sound signifying a failure.

"Yes, we cannot log out at all. What a shame," Taigamaru dryly snarked. Shiroe quirked an eyebrow and smiled despite himself. Taigamaru was as hardcore as hardcore gamers went with Elder Tales. He must be pretty happy to be in this world.

Shiroe could hear in the distance Kanami wailing about rebellious children. Inctis's well-practiced 'Kanami's caretaker' voice tried to calm their woman-child leader down. Three others accounted for. Shiroe pulled out his Friends list and brought up a special tab labeled the 'Debauchery Tea Party.'

Everyone's name was brightly lit up.

* * *

"Kanami, our glorious leader and the Undefeated of the East (Self-Titled). She is the almighty leader of the Debauchery Tea Party! She is our Sun, Moon, and Stars! We all revolve around that amazingly beautiful smile that drags us straight into a supernova! We're all going to die and we're going to love it~! Lololol.

Naotsugu, our greatest tank infamously known as the Panties Knight (Real Title). He's a real bro and according to him, we men are all either open or close perverts, so sorry Kazu-chan, you are a perv~. He's an open pervert, and he's real open about it! So he's always lonely~ But hey, he has his panties, lol.

Nyanta, our captain, Class Representative, and the Dandy in Boots (though he doesn't wear boots). He's cool, he's amazing, he's a cat that refuses a hat, but damn is he a dandy gentleman~

Soujirou Seta, our greatest DPS, the Sword Saint, the Harem Protagonist, and that 'damn cheating dual-wield swordsman with stupid reflexes with stupid luck and stupidly sick gaming abilities, damn walking hax (K. R.'s Title).'

Nazuna, the Gambling Miko, the Legendary Sucker, the Big Sister, and Seta's Oneechan, no seriously, she's not in love with him (lol).

Kuina (Inctis)! The proud Greatest Fan of Kanami-chan, the legendary Sadistic Tactician, the Yandere, the Tsundere, the Kuudere... How many -deres is she?

K. R., the devilishly handsome devil, the greatest and most interesting man on Earth and Elder Tales, and the best damn Elder Tales YouTuber in the whole damn world! (pops some party poppers)

Kazuhiko, the White Knight, the hero the world doesn't want but deserves, the King of Chivalry, the King of Knights! Except he's an Assassin, what irony, lol.

Suikazura, a real survivor, the Team's Mom, just call for Mama and she come healin', she da gal! She da woman! Whoo, hurray for Mama!

Gorouhachirou, Samurai Otaku, the Salaryman Ronin, self-professed lover of all girls with animal ears! Push him in front of a cute girl and watch his ears turn red and his face catch on fire, lol.

Hayato, the Emprah of the Seas! When he wants things done, he gets things done! If something stops him from getting things done, he punches them gone! Seriously, this crazy man can punch the air and make it crack! He's a straight up badass shounen hero!

Nurukan-jiji! The Destroyer, and he deserves that name! He wears nothing but a belt and pants, he wields a giant hammer bigger than I am, and he ain't afraid to swing it to your knees and break them! He destroys everyone's shit! He doesn't need to speak, your screams shall speak of his legend!

Aihie, Assassin Extraordinaire, a regular femme fatale, the lady's reaper that was born before the beginning of the world and stole the concept of death from the god of all gods and even its father fears her power for she controls both fate, destiny, space, time... Damn, this book's intro is too damn long.

Touri, the Destroyer's Ward and Little Cannon, she is a cute little girl scout come to bring you cookies of death, pain, horror, and death from afar! Meaning yes, she'll fire girl scout cookies down your gob with a bigass cannon! She is so cute holding that stupidly huge gun~!

Suzuna! She's the singer of stars! The cutest diva of them all! The idol that all idols strive for! When you hear her voice, even a heartless bastard can feel love! She is the cutie pie, blushing gal that is so very easy to tease!

Whistler! His words are carefully chosen for maximum damage! His actions are always louder than anyone else's! A man of many talents, he is a seriously handsome bastard that you can never get a read on! But he is really a little rabbit that is afraid to be alone, so always be nice and feed him and water him, then you will have a handsome bastard of your own.

Stallbourne! He's a dwarf and he diggy digs your holes like no one ever did! He has everything in the world in his bag, because he takes everything in the world... In his bag... He's also an angry drunk, and he loves beer and gold and... Huh. He's a dwarf? He's more dwarf than any other dwarf in any game!

Saki, the genius with an IQ over 250 that can speak 18 different languages and dreams to be a bride! She is really 17 years old, don't let that loli body fool ya! If you do, she'll never give you the chance to regret it~ If she can reach you that is, ahahaha!

Calm H. Dale! He loves peace, quiet, nonviolence, utopia, still waters, no confrontations, and ice cream! A history buff of the highest caliber, don't even get him started on that shit, ain't nobody got time for time~!

Tsukioto! She's a cute, kind girl that loves the tragic heroines of the world~! Her dream is to be the princess and meet her prince as they fall in love but fight on opposite sides of the battlefield, and the princess hides her gender in her armor so she can fight but she gets run through with a blade by her prince and her helmet falls off and they are horrified, they call out each other's name tearfully, they kiss one last goodbye! Damn girl, what a sad ending, it sends tears to my eyes, hahaha!

Kurama! He wants love, he wants it now, he wants it bad, he'll try for it every day of his life! He'll get slapped, stomped, kicked, punched, and even stabbed once, lololol! But he'll never give up on love~! Admirable, if suicidal, lolololol.

Yuko! The mascot of the Tea Party, the cutie, the little genius child that can't escape her childhood! She is so fun to watch when she freezes people to solid blocks, but she is so much more fun to watch when she panics over seeing people hug~!

Yomi! The Dark Flame Master (lol)! Bwahahahahahahaha!

Taigamaru, the Advisor, the Player Build Maker, the Prodigy, holy shit, the damn Dragon Slayer! He is an inherited character, but don't let that fool you! With the Tiger's precise playing and obsessive perfectionism, he became number one in the whole world in strength! But he's an idiot with people and an idiotic idiot with humanity! Can you believe this mofo, he told a girl that admired him and wanted to be with him forever that he cannot stand her build? Just dumps a build book on her and leaves. Man, it almost made my heart go out to her! Hahaha, the Tiger of the East is never wanting of people who hate his guts! (huh, we have a ton of child geniuses, huh?)

RamMutton, the coolest doctor in the world! He is too kind, and he loves everything so equally that he could fall in love with a headless woman! He is the greatest bro one can ask for, and the best mad scientist in the world! One day, his ideas will go out and change everything! For better or worse, hahahahaha!

William Massachusetts, our newest guy! Can you believe him, he was a fan of us for almost the Tea Party's whole life? Hahaha, we never thought we would get groupies! We just hung out, gathered other bored people, and Kanami dragged us to the ends of the world, and we all had to try to get everyone back out alive! And this guy wanted in on that!? Hahahahahahaha, well, why not?! We got to treat our fans right if we want them to keep paying me money, trolololol~!"

* * *

Shiroe was pulling out windows and adding people to the conference call. He finally replied to the very long-winded monologue, "Are you done, K. R.?"

"WHO ARE YOU SAYING IS IN LOVE WITH SOUJIROU-KUN?!" Nazuna screamed in rage, making Soujirou sweatdrop next to her. They stood in the middle of the market of Akihabara, and the scream made the despairing players around them stop for a minute to stare at her.

"K. R. You. In an alley. Strangled. With my whip," Inctis coldly replied. Kanami and Kazuhiko shivered next to her, but Kanami quickly recovered as she replied with a smile, "Hell yeah, I'm the best leader in the whole world!"

"Assassin is just a class, not a lifestyle. I can be as 'Knightly' as I want, and I am definitely not a pervert," Kazuhiko frowned.

Taigamaru volunteered to pick up Shiroe. He chugged down his Appearance Reset Potion as he moved, grimacing at the disgusting bone snaps and muscle tears he heard. It did not feel painful, just extremely uncomfortable, as if his bones and muscles were dancing under his skin. He managed to continue moving, and was only a few blocks away when he saw the enchanter. He quickly moved to greet Shiroe, then he quirked an eyebrow at the stranger near the man. Shiroe shrugged helplessly at Taigamaru and the summoner just rolled his eyes. The stranger frowned at the child before her, wondering who he was.

* * *

"Oi, you're not my son, stop calling me mama," Suikazura complained as she accepted a beer from Stallbourne, Yuko and Saki seated next to her, her worn-looking helmet on the table in front of her as she tried to sweep back her spiky long hair. Stallbourne brought them orange juice as he laughed, stroking his magnificent red beard.

"I don't mind if you brats call me papa, hahahaha!" Stallbourne joyfully yelled before downing his flagon of beer, his trusty and beautiful diamond pickaxe strapped to his back.

"I don't feel comfortable calling someone as short as me as my papa," Yuko playfully replied. She took off her starry witch's hat, using it to fan her as she sipped her juice. Her eyes, literally shaped like stars, shone brightly in the fireplace's light.

"K. R.! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'RE DEAD! THEN I'LL REVIVE YOU AND KILL YOU AGAIN!" Saki screamed, scaring the Susukino bar's patrons. She stomped her soft-looking leather boots to the ground, which thundered as if she stomped with plate boots.

"Ara? Saki-chin, it is good to be energetic in your youth, but there's no need to lose control over yourself like that, nya." Nyanta said. Nurukan and Touri were seated on Nyanta's Susukino home's sofa. Well, Nurukan was, Touri sat on Nurukan's left shoulder. Touri tapped Nurukan's shoulder and Nurukan handed her a cookie and cup of tea.

"Arigatou." Touri quietly thanked, smiling, her small hand brushing back her golden bangs to behind her ear. Nurukan patted Touri on her head, his over grown eyebrows hiding his eyes and his bushy, white beard hiding his mouth, but both were unable to cover the grandfatherly smile.

"Susukino is a damn depressing sight. People need to heat up their blood more. So what if we're trapped in Elder Tales, we might as well make a grand story out of it, gurararara!" Hayato rumbled his laughter, drinking sake from a saucer as he stood on top of Susukino's grand walls, his grand cape with the label, "Emperor," stitched on, waving in the wind. He handed a bottle of sake over to Calm H. Dale next to him.

"It is as if we're trapped in an eternal dream, unable to wake up and break this illusion. Until when do we forget what is truly reality and truly the dream? When I wake up, will I still be me, or will I only remember myself as Calm H. Dale?" Dale sighed, pouring himself some sake, his other hand holding on to his immaculate but normal-looking, wide brimmed, conical straw hat which hid his crimson eyes.

* * *

"Do they have to be different? If this is reality, then we continue living it. If it is a dream, when we wake up, let's remember it as fun times! Either way, panties, real or imagined, are the fire of a man's soul!" Naotsugu proudly roared, scandalizing some nearby female adventurers. Naotsugu and his group, Gorouhachirou, Tsukioto, and Whistler, were walking through the streets of Akihabara.

"Naotsugu, we can never go anywhere without you scaring all the girls," Gorouhachirou sighed, adjusting his samurai helmet and wincing as some cute dog and cat-eared girls shied away from him and started whispering fearfully. His face and elven ears fell even further.

"While there are girls that would love your honesty, we just don't like to show our panties to anyone. You would at least need to be covered in a shroud of pink and red and blue and taste of strawberries and raspberries before I show you mine," Tsukioto smiled, her eyes looking towards nothing. Her pure white eyes and snow-white cat ears made her miko-looking figure look very ethereal, which was enhanced by an elaborate set of prayer beads that were each shaped like a planet, with each bead floating around her despite gravity. Despite such an amazing display, people looked on more because she, a fully grown woman, was riding piggy-back on Naotsugu's back.

"Ohohoho, I am confident in the redness of my aura, for my passion is fiery, my dear madame~!" Kurama grandiosely declared, "After all, how can I hold back this _romance_ when I am the most handsome beast in the lands~!" He combed his brilliantly crimson hair, looking at his perpetual companion, a silver hand mirror, with deep adoration. His noble-looking musketeer's outfit lent an elegantly roguish figure to his frame.

"Do you not agree, ojou-chans? Why not ignite our souls together in the great bonfire of dearest intimacy~? How else can we quench this BURNING LOVE~?" He twirled, snapping his finger and conjuring a rose, presenting it to a surprised trio of elven girls. His wink snapped out a heart effect for some reason.

"With water. Want to take a swim?" Whistler calmly stated. Before Kurama could answer, Whistler tripped him with his shining, golden fishing rod. Kurama threw up his hand mirror, wind-milled his arms, his eyes comically wide, before he rolled down the hill and splashed into the river. Whistler caught the precious hand mirror for Kurama, before giving a slight smirk at the flustered, drenched redhead's way. The trio of elven girls couldn't help but laugh, forgetting their previous depression. Kurama gave Whistler a secret thumbs up. Whistler just slightly nodded as he frowned.

* * *

"Hahahaha, you are a sly, cruel man, Whistler-dono. I can't believe you just tripped Kurama-dono out of nowhere," William Massachusetts laughed boisterously as he sat down on a ledge. Gingami was sitting down next to William, drawing the view of Minami from its highest tower, Suzuna watching over his shoulder.

"I am always amazed of how beautiful your landscape art is, Gingami-san," Suzuna praised softly, smiling as she took in the verdant green of Minami's terraced palace gardens. Her soft, fluffy looking overcoat and snow-white ushanka stood out in the noon sun. Gingami nodded in thanks, his pitch-black wolf ears twitching as the cold wind blew over them, his own green and brown robes warming his avatar's now feeling body.

"If only Gingami-kun was willing to draw creatures instead of just places, I just know he can draw the best fantastical creatures," RamMutton complained playfully, adjusting his glasses as he looked through all his potions.

"This stay in Elder Tales will be really fun, letting me see how all this magic works, kukuku..." RamMutton licked his lips excitedly, peering closely at a purple potion. He wore what looked like a scientist's coat and a normal black shirt and blue jeans. Around his waist was five different belts of magic bags, filled with literally hundreds, if not thousands, of all kinds of potions and other consumables.

"Hahahahaha, your eyes look damn scary Rammy-kun! Next thing we know, you'll be dissecting dragons to find seven uses for dragon's blood, hahahaha!" K. R. laughed uproariously. K. R. and RamMutton were in RamMutton's laboratory in Minami, packing everything up.

* * *

"Harry Potter references, really, K. R.? Also why was your introduction of me incomplete?! You got all of Aihie's stuff down-" Yomi was interrupted with his complaints by a punch to his head. He rubbed his head and whined. He wore black everything, with black fingerless gloves, a black leather set of robes with black velvet underneath it, and black trousers with black boots. The bottom hem of his robes was decorated with black flames lined with crimson.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! K. R., you promised you were going to burn that book! You jerk, if you don't freaking stop it, I'm going to shove my worst poison up your-" Aihie ranted before Yomi covered her mouth with his hands. She gnashed her teeth as she continued shouting incoherently, her shoulder-length red hair floating in mid-air from the sheer force of her rage. She wore a leather breastplate the exposed her midriff, and a long cloth skirt that hid long legs that peeked out from an open line of the skirt. While attractive, the girl's body does not match well with how sexy the gear is.

"Whoa whoa whoa, we have kids in the call! Calm down!" Yomi and Aihie were seated under Akiba's giant Holy Tree of the Ancients. They were waiting for everyone else.

"Yahoo~! Yomi-kun, Aihie-chan~!" Kanami yelled, waving towards them. She ran straight towards them, and with her class of Monk, she looked like a supersonic missile approaching them.

Yomi and Aihie both looked at each other before splitting. Kanami skidded to a halt, but couldn't control her speed and tripped over a root. She fell, rolled, and then crashed into the tree, her body upside-down.

"...Anyways, why did you have to change your appearance Aihie-chan? You looked so sexy, like a proper spy~ Femme fatale, seducer of men~?" Yomi teased, nudging her sides. Aihie blushed profusely, driving a drill punch to Yomi's side, making him 'gefuh.'

"Shut up you perv. I couldn't walk at all because of how different that body was from my actual body. Ugh, I spent so much time on that avatar too..." Aihie muttered, depressed.

"Kanami-sama! Kanami-sama! Hang in there, I am willing to nurse you to full health and take care of your every need, forever and ever and ever..." Inctis shouted, first concernedly, then creepily. The prim and proper figure of the elegant Inctis contrasted greatly with the sinister, yandere trance she seemed to gain, even as she kneeled before the fallen Kanami and helped her up.

"It's good to see you again Yomi. It has been a while. You look so different now Aihie, I guess you reset to how you look irl eh?" Kazuhiko commented, holding up a hand as greeting as he smiled back at the excited teens. Everyone knew by now to ignore Inctis, or Kuina as they called her, when she entered "Kanami-sama~ ufufu" mode.

"Kazu-nii, it's been a while? How long has it been, a week?" Yomi joked.

"Yep, yep, I might not be sexy now, but I just know that will be in my future, neh?" Aihie winked.

Kazuhiko laughed uncomfortably, blushing a bit at that thought. Naotsugu grabbed Kazuhiko's shoulder's in a one-armed hug, leaning his weight on the man playfully. Given Kazuhiko's strength stat, he didn't even notice the weight, but he did smile back at Naotsugu.

"What's up everyone? Having a fun festival? Aihie, sexy festival might be in your future, but you're a cutie festival right now too!" Naotsugu gave a thumbs up.

Aihie laughed in appreciation, placing her hands on her hips, jutting her now smaller chest out.

"Though right now, she is pretty flat, eh?" Muttered by Kurama as he walked in, dry as a bone. He explained it as the force of his BURNING LOVE, and they did believe that. The man always seemed to be in top form all the time except in romance.

"What was that, Love Quixote?! You wanted arsenic with your knife in the gut?!" Aihie hissed, flustered a bit.

Kurama laughed at her threat, though he noticeably stepped behind Naotsugu.

Tsukioto sat besides the kneeling Kanami that was being mothered by Inctis, smiling behind her sleeves as she looked at the interaction. Whistler sat on a root besides a small pool, throwing down a line and leaning back, closing his eyes as they waited for everyone else.

A few minutes later, Soujirou and Nazuna arrived, with Nazuna calm again as she walked besides the samurai. She smiled at everyone and waved happily but languidly, "Heyo. What's up, peeps?"

Soujirou smiled too as everyone there waved back, even the seemingly sleeping Whistler, "It may have been a week, but it feels like forever even then. I really do love spending time with you all," He admitted easily, rubbing the back of his head. Aihie, Nazuna, and Tsukioto all had their hearts skip a beat because of that sunny smile.

"Bro, you are such a harem protag, being able to say that without shame," Gorouhachirou jokingly ranted, waving his fist playfully at the laughing samurai.

"Master is the Love Master. He knows all, he sees all, he captures hearts as Whistler captures fish. Master is in fact the Love Fisher!" Kurama gushed, suddenly kneeling and bowing at Soujirou. Naotsugu and Kazuhiko sweatdropped and laughed, and Whistler suddenly sat up and stood, glaring at Soujirou as he reeled his rod back in.

"Soujirou. I challenge you to Love Fishing," Whistler declared, taking out a chocolate bar from his pack and hooking it to his fishing hook. He softly threw the line and reeled it in, until it was hanging over Tsukioto. Tsukioto giggled and playfully bit at the chocolate.

Everyone had to laugh at that scene, even as Soujirou sweatdropped at the deadly seriousness in Whistler's eyes.

"...I left you all for 30 minutes to meet up with Shiroe. What weird social ritual is this?" Taigamaru questioned as he got near, wondering if he should seriously study what he was seeing. Shiroe placed his hand on Taigamaru's shoulder, smiling ruefully.

"It's not something serious, I think," Shiroe laughed nervously.

Taigamaru looked up at Shiroe as he shrugged.

"Taiga-chan? Is that really you?! You look so cute!" Kanami squealed. She was beaten to the glomp by Nazuna, who grabbed the child prodigy and began swinging the kid around like a pendulum, his face buried in her large breasts. Kanami jumped in and hugged Taigamaru too, sandwiching the boy between their breasts. They smiled complacently, feeling so happy about hugging a child.

Every male in that clearing felt a spike of jealousy except for Soujirou, who was sparkling and had his hands twitching towards Taigamaru. It seemed like he also wanted to hug Taigamaru. Shiroe saw this and shook his head, wondering if it was because of these periods of femininity that allowed Soujirou to attract so many girls.

"Kanami-sama?!" Kuina gasped, turning white in despair in the background. Which quickly broke when she was pushed forward. Kuina quickly turned around to glare venomously at Yomi, but he just smiled at her and nodded his head at Kanami and Taigamaru, before looking back at her with a raised eyebrow. Kuina glared even harder, before her sharp eyes softened ever so slightly before she harrumphed and simply walked towards Kanami and Taigamaru. She adjusted her glasses, smiled widely at Kanami, before sniping at Taigamaru, "You little pervert."

"Mmmph, mmmph, mmmph," Taigamaru said, muffled, tapping at Nazuna's and Kanami's shoulders. He already regretted changing his appearance from his projected adult form to his real child form.

"Oh, Taiga-sama looks like his irl child self? I want to see that soon," Pouted by Suzuna as the conference call continued. The Susukino and Minami crews were already in transit on their griffons towards Akihabara. She hugged her griffon's neck closer as she, Gingami, William Massachusetts, RamMutton, and K. R. rocketed over Theldesia.

"Is baby genius how he really looks now? You're so small, even compared to Yuko, and I don't think you have any clothes your size," Suikazura voiced out concernedly, flying with Nyanta, Nurukan, Touri, Hayato, Calm H. Dale, Stallbourne, Yuko, and Saki. They were already nearing the Depths of Palm in the Tearstone Mountains, so they will be halfway to Akiba.

"Eh, given how hot-blooded he gets, I think Taiga-kun can handle anything even as a baby, gurarara," Hayato laughed.

"All those size-changing properties he gives his clothes should be paying off now, nya. We should be camping here soon and get a bite to eat, nya," Nyanta suggested, diving into a forest clearing. The rest followed suit.

"Is Touri now bigger than Taiga-niichan?" Touri asked, tilting her head.

"Well, it's not hard to be bigger than Yuko, though I guess Yuko ain't the Mascot of the DTP now," Commented by K. R. He peered through the western winds, trying to find a place for his group to land. A whistle caught his attention, and he saw William gesture for him to follow as he dove down. K. R. and the rest soon followed.

"Mou, you guys are so mean. Stop saying I'm short! I don't like it, and I'm sure Taiga-san doesn't like being called it!" Yuko complained, pouting. She jumped down onto Nurukan's shoulder and waved happily at Touri who was on the other shoulder. Touri smiled and waved back.

"K. R., I haven't forgotten what you said earlier today. Tomorrow, I will end you," Saki muttered darkly, even as she lifted up a whole tree and brought it over to Calm H. Dale. Dale placed his hand on the trunk, pulled out a screen and pressed a skill, and suddenly his hand glowed blue. He slowly lifted it up until a ball of water could be seen floating under it, and Saki watched intently as the tree trunk dried before her.

"The sheer force of the fast dehydration should have collapsed the structure of the trunk, but it simply seemed like the process was quickened by magic," Saki muttered.

"I heard the sound of a screen being pulled out and magic being mentioned," Taigamaru breathed out, weary from all the glomps. His brows were furrowed and he was scowling. On his adult form, it would have made for an intimidating sight. Right now, he just looked petulant.

"Hmm? Yes Taiga-san, I cast Call of Water and drew out the water from a tree trunk," Dale reported dutifully as Saki cut apart the tree with her legendary axe, Peace and Mercy. Despite the group's teasing of Taigamaru's new, smaller form, they knew he was tied with Shiroe and K. R. in knowledge about Elder Tales, and he was the foremost leader in gameplay mechanics. Only K. R. beat him in lore, and only Shiroe beat him in items and geography.

"The medium is now different. We are not playing with a keyboard and monitor, and the UI is organized differently, as if optimized for First Person Mode. Imagine a number and link a skill to it, and think of the number while entering a casting stance," Taigamaru instructed. Dale nodded and he and Saki watched as a small fire erupted from Dale's hand towards the sky.

Dale narrowed his eyes and then pulled out his staff. He slammed it to the ground while a brilliant azure light shined on the staff's head. The Susukino group stopped their camp preparations and watched Dale as he casted magic without the menu. From out of the staff came out an orange weasel wearing a vest and a fedora, its brilliant blue eyes glowing. It twitched its nose at Dale before quickly climbing up Dale and resting on his shoulders. Dale absentmindedly scratched its head as it nuzzled him and reported, "So we can either think the number or the name of the spell and simply enter the stances in order to perform our skills in this world."

"Well, correct, but you would be much quicker by simply hotkey-ing the skills. Some of the skills of Elder Tales are too long and can take up to 3 seconds just to think up. The basic shape of the skill and spell will also suffice, but it requires more concentration to visualize both the appearance, effect, and target," Taigamaru explained, casting all his non-summon spells at the invincible Holy Tree.

"I hear firing, is Taigamaru desecrating the Holy Tree of the Ancients? You're on your way to getting all the People of the Land hating on you soon, Taiga-chin~" K. R. drawled out.

"Oh? I thought with the tree being a result of Alv hands, the People of the Land are only respectful, not reverent of it," Shiroe asked, curious.

"Ah, but there is a cult of druids for that Holy Tree that are based in Akiba. They only have a few quests about healing some of the trees in the city, so only druids really get to find out about them," K. R. explained.

"Is that so? Then I shall stop. Naotsugu, think of your body as a statue, please," Taigamaru muttered, aiming his hand at Naotsugu.

"Umm...Nope," Naotsugu slowly stepped around Soujirou, putting the teen in front of him. Soujirou's eyes widened and pulled Gorouhachirou in front of him. Gorouhachirou panicked and lifted Kazuhiko and held him out as a shield, interrupting the man's conversation with Yomi and Aihie. The knightly assassin blinked before he broke into a sweat seeing the glow of lights erupting from Taigamaru.

"Oh you asshole," Kazuhiko swore. He shut his eyes tight and waited for the pain.

"Oh right, I should not attack another player inside city limits," Taigamaru remembered. He stopped casting and chose a different spell, calling out fairy lights in front of him. The floating bubbles of smileys giggled in front of him, and he held out his hand as one landed on it. Taigamaru frowned in concentration.

"They are either too light to feel or truly have the mass of light, in which case where is this sentience coming from...?" The child muttered, experimenting some more. Shiroe, Kanami, and Inctis sweatdropped as Taigamaru entered 'Prodigy' mode, and they could hear the frantic scribbling of who could only be RamMutton from the Minami side.

Yomi and Aihie were surprised at Kazuhiko being taken in front of them, but they sat back and watched the man chase Gorouhachirou, Soujirou, and Naotsugu around the tree, yelling about being manhandled and how rude they were to interrupt a conversation. Whistler handed Kurama a spare fishing rod, and they were competing with 'Love Fishing' as Nazuna joined Tsukioto in trying to eat the hooked chocolates. The two girls were giggling at how the two men took it so seriously.

* * *

Akatsuki watched this group all from the outside, gaping. She pledged to repay Shiroe for his Appearance Reset Potion, but didn't realize he was the legendary Villain in Glasses of the even more infamous Debauchery Tea Party. She looked at how casual they all were, how they conversed so easily even though some were zones away.

She felt distinctly left out. She was uncomfortable there and fidgeted in place. She wanted to leave really, just come back later and help Shiroe, preferably when he was alone...

"Akatsuki-san, please, come join us," Shiroe called out with a smile, gesturing towards them. The purple-haired lady in glasses next to him glared at her frostily, but the blue-haired woman, Kanami, beamed at her like the sun. Akatsuki barely kept up with rumors given her solo questing and focus on finding raiding parties or dungeon parties, but even she knew about the famous leader of the legendary group. She wondered, like everyone else did, how she managed to lead such a diverse, elite, and magnificent group of players.

She felt like she was intruding. She felt like she would not fit in. She felt like she might never be able to gain the kind of easy camaraderie she was watching, so near yet far. But...

She felt an unusual feeling of lightness yet tightness. She really wanted to see, feel, _join_...

This debauched tea party.


End file.
